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Myself


          
   
So we keep on praying for you, asking our God to enable you to live a life worthy of his call. May he give you the power to accomplish all the good things your faith prompts you to do. 2 Thessalonians 1:11

At the moment I am reading a book called Alter Ego by Craig Groeschel and the study guide that goes with it really helps me to look into myself and see myself in an honest light. 

I am motivated by my emotions, negative emotions at that eg: fear, anxiety, low self esteem and lack of confidence in my abilities to be me. It's so difficult for me to try to relate to people, talk to people, open up and feel at ease with people, putting myself out there to be judged and criticised and exposed.
 
I often wonder what life must be like for a monk or a nun, what must life be like if you didn't have to force yourself to speak to people, if you weren't materialistic in the slightest, if you were living your life exactly as planned even if that lifestyle was so crazy and beyond everyone's comprehension. What must life be like if you were to speak to no one but God.  

More than anything I want to be worthy of being a child of God, I want to please God by being who he created me to be and doing all that he set out for me to do on this earth. God chose me for a purpose and I want to fulfil that purpose and realise my true identity. 

This would mean taking a leap of faith and coming out from behind the shadows and letting myself be seen and heard and allow myself to own the fact that I am a confident, mature, strong, independent, worthy, christian woman. 

Sometimes I forget that the only opinion that counts is the opinion of God and God loves me as I am. 
I don't need to change to fit in or be accepted or be given a stamp of approval by anyone because God accepts me just as I am and I can live any crazy, uncomprehending lifestyle I choose as long as it is pleasing to God.  


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